In the, what? 3 years since I've updated the blog, I've been struggling with something I never thought I would struggle with.
See, something strange (and amazing) happened a few months ago. My ITBS just...cleared up. I'll write a future post on some of the things I did, but I finally learned how to deal with my tight/weak hips. That means that my life, which had become nothing but weekends out drinking and weeknights in baking, could go back to being all about running.
And I've been running! I've done a ton of races - the Jax Bank Half (slow slow slow), the Gate River Run, some 5Ks, a 10K PR. I can finally run with my friends, pick goal races, and consider myself a runner again!
And I literally don't care. I've been skipping runs, not going to the gym, and just being lazy and overeating. I finally have the ability to run back, and I don't even want it. I've signed up for a destination half in the fall, and I have 3 more half marathons on the calendar, and I literally can't bring myself to get out the door most days.
If you think it's odd that I'm making this post, it should seem even odder that it's going up today. After all, today was the Boston Marathon. I had quite a few friends make the trip up to run (one also went up to volunteer!), and I set up my livestream at work to watch.
To be honest, I was more concerned with how my friends were doing. I didn't care about the elites, and it was hard to follow along on Twitter with everyone. Seeing my friends succeed motivated me to at least get out the door tonight and do an easy 3.
So, what's the problem? If I'm being honest, I think it's a fear of injury. The last time I was in shape and was able to run without a problem was right before the NYC Marathon - when I got injured. For the bulk of races I've done, I've had my leg completely wrapped in KT Tape (see above!) because I'm terrified of getting hurt again. I have a crazy (maybe not so crazy) fear of getting back in good shape and having it be for nothing.
Do you struggle with motivation? What do you do to force yourself out the door?
I'm Jenn! I'm a baker, blogger, sorta-runner, and writer living in Jacksonville, Florida!